11 point journal idea conceived by *caveatLECTOR

The rules:

• List 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.

• Don't say who they pertain to.

• Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.

• Never discuss it again.


1) I wonder alot about what you are doing now. I hope that your life turned out drastically different than mine. Your face is etched in my memory. Too bad we were so young and writing letters didn't stick.

2) I tried very hard to hate you for what you did to me. I am still angry and afraid. But your presence has all but vanished from my life now. I pity you. Karma has to be a bitch.

3) I love you. Honest to God, you are my soulmate. I don't think that I could have survived my life if you hadn't been there with me. Suffering, too. I am sorry that we can no longer seem to be friends. You judge me instead of accepting me. As you so eloquently said time changes people.

4) I will never forgive you. She may, but I refuse. There will be celebration the day you die. Age has taken away some of your darkness...but I still see it in you. My daughter will know the truth if you live that long.

5) I feel like I didn't know you at all...but at the same time, I got to see pieces of you no one else ever did. I feel your presence lingering around me and I wonder why. Did I really mean that much to you? It isn't just because of her.

6) I can't seem to help myself when it comes to you. It's been so long and yet I still yearn for you. I miss your smiles. You were my whole world. I don't think that I will ever be completely over you.

7) I would give up everything to be yours. If only you would let go. I won't stay around to be second best forever.

8) Do you see me for me? Or am I just a toy? Don't misunderstand me; I enjoy our game. Dangerous as it is. What would she say if she knew? I'd still want you.

9) I miss you so much. When I felt like no one loved/cared for me...I had you. I cried so hard when I found out you were gone. One day, we will meet again.

10) Why do you hate me? I wish I knew why. You can be so cold and unfeeling. I want us to get along. Everytime I try, you just shut me down.

11) Your "teachings" changed my life...and her as your loyal follower.